hoarders

have you seen this show? its the ultimate form of rubber-necking. i see what a terrible, yet fascinating, wreck it is, and i can't seem to look away.

Each 60-minute episode of Hoarders is a fascinating look inside the lives of two different people whose inability to part with their belongings is so out of control that they are on the verge of a personal crisis. But cleaning is just the first step, like taking drugs away from an addict. The healing won't be easy. For some, throwing away even the tiniest thing -- a sponge, a button, an empty box -- is so painful that they will not be able to allow the cleaning to be completed, no matter the consequences.

I first saw this show around Thanksgiving. And I was astounded and shocked at the ridiculous obsession with meaningless material possessions these people were bound with, even to the brink of losing their families, homes, health, freedom, or even their own lives. To me its so obvious the demonic oppression involved. I really wish there was someone there to help them receive true deliverance through the love and power of Jesus Christ!

But then God gave me another revelation of my own heart. As you've read in my previous blogs, He has been making me aware of the walls in my heart, that I have allowed to be built up over the years of my life with the bricks of lies from the enemy. These walls have not only kept out God, but everyone else, from getting to really know me - even myself. I've lacked true intimacy in most of my relationships, gladly allowing shallow & surface conversation to distract from the painful hidden depths of my heart and prevent them from being exposed. As these walls have been slowly coming down, I have been pretty afraid of what might be found behind them. I didn't know what to expect, but I just knew it probably wouldn't be pretty.

And I was right. As the walls have started to come down, I see that these hidden chambers of my heart are filled to the brim with trash that I have held on to all these years. Piles of hurt from broken relationships. Rotten spoils of painful words spoken. Filth of disappointment and unmet expectations. The chaos left behind from willing sin. Its all so overwhelming. Where do I even begin? There is so much to address. And when we get to it, will I really be willing to let it go? Or have I burrowed my identity so far into these piles of garbage I've collected for my own sick comfort, that I won't be able to surface?

The first step in the process of my clean sweep is willingness to cooperate with God in the task. No matter how difficult, to press on and trust that His intentions are always for my good. I have to be willing to throw away the messy memorabilia of my past, and realize that many of the things that I thought shaped my personality were mostly attempts of my enemy at trying to keep me from discovering my true self. I have to determine not to be so ashamed that I can't continue the process. And I have to remember that God doesn't see me the way I see me. I can trust His vision, because Jesus has already paid the price. And because of that, we've traded spaces. When God looks at me, He sees Christ. Now I have to see me with His eyes.

No longer will I be willingly bound to my past and the sins that have entangled me. No longer will I hide the wounds of my broken heart from the One who has the power to heal them. No longer will I sit in the darkness alone, a prisoner in my own heart. I am ready.

In the words of Ty Pennington, "Let's DO IIIIIT!"

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn...Isaiah 63: 1-2