What does HE think about me? Who does HE say I am? What does HE think I'm capable of? Where does HE want me to go?
So I'm asking these questions. And I'm waiting on answers. The hard part is, I'm not sure if I'll know its Him when one comes. I haven't done much listening. I haven't even done much asking.
There are some who seem to think that God wants to do big things through me. And yes, that's intimidating at best. But it's also exciting and promising and encouraging.
Someone told me something that I won't soon forget. They said that I was called too. Okay, it doesn't sound like much. But this was a huge revelation for me.
When I married Jeremy, I knew I was getting everything I'd ever wanted...a godly man, a spiritual leader, someone with an innate sense of destiny and purpose, etc., etc., etc. I could go on and on about him and all his amazing qualities. However, I think for a while I let myself become unimportant in my mind. Not intentionally. But I saw him doing such great things... growing, changing, influencing others... that I thought that was it. I thought my job was done. Marrying him was the pinnacle of my sense of purpose, so I kind of just banked on him. I just thought he would be the destined one, he would be the purposed one, he would be the influencing one and so I was off the hook. What a convenient way of thinking, right?
So when those words were said to me - you were called too - my eyes opened to all my backward thinking. I realized that I'm just as destined and purposed as anyone else. It gave me a sense of ownership for my life that I had never really felt before. And with that, of course, came responsibility.
So now here I am, at the edge of the water, so to speak - realizing that I can swim too. And I don't have to just watch from the shore. That I can be a part of the adventure - and that I was meant to be!
So now I have to learn who I am, what I have to offer, how I'm gifted, where I'm weak, and why I'm important.
And I can't do it alone. I can't just think my way through it. My skills of observation will only get me so far. The kingdom of heaven is within me. And I need to learn to rely on that.
Unfortunately this isn't a short term project. It's a lifelong journey of discovery and decision and discipline and devotion.
So here I am, packing my bags. Getting ready to embark on the ultimate quest. And of course, I over pack. And yet somehow I'm not prepared for whats ahead.
With my guide (mentor), map (the Word), and compass (the Holy Spirit), I'm off. Show me, Lord.
So I'm asking these questions. And I'm waiting on answers. The hard part is, I'm not sure if I'll know its Him when one comes. I haven't done much listening. I haven't even done much asking.
There are some who seem to think that God wants to do big things through me. And yes, that's intimidating at best. But it's also exciting and promising and encouraging.
Someone told me something that I won't soon forget. They said that I was called too. Okay, it doesn't sound like much. But this was a huge revelation for me.
When I married Jeremy, I knew I was getting everything I'd ever wanted...a godly man, a spiritual leader, someone with an innate sense of destiny and purpose, etc., etc., etc. I could go on and on about him and all his amazing qualities. However, I think for a while I let myself become unimportant in my mind. Not intentionally. But I saw him doing such great things... growing, changing, influencing others... that I thought that was it. I thought my job was done. Marrying him was the pinnacle of my sense of purpose, so I kind of just banked on him. I just thought he would be the destined one, he would be the purposed one, he would be the influencing one and so I was off the hook. What a convenient way of thinking, right?
So when those words were said to me - you were called too - my eyes opened to all my backward thinking. I realized that I'm just as destined and purposed as anyone else. It gave me a sense of ownership for my life that I had never really felt before. And with that, of course, came responsibility.
So now here I am, at the edge of the water, so to speak - realizing that I can swim too. And I don't have to just watch from the shore. That I can be a part of the adventure - and that I was meant to be!
So now I have to learn who I am, what I have to offer, how I'm gifted, where I'm weak, and why I'm important.
And I can't do it alone. I can't just think my way through it. My skills of observation will only get me so far. The kingdom of heaven is within me. And I need to learn to rely on that.
Unfortunately this isn't a short term project. It's a lifelong journey of discovery and decision and discipline and devotion.
So here I am, packing my bags. Getting ready to embark on the ultimate quest. And of course, I over pack. And yet somehow I'm not prepared for whats ahead.
With my guide (mentor), map (the Word), and compass (the Holy Spirit), I'm off. Show me, Lord.
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